oh-mrs-o:

mozzarellahighrise:

when someone tells you their favorite candy, listen. write it down if you have to. remember it. when you know they’re having a shitty day, buy it for them. be the best human you can be; buy your friends their favorite candy when they really, really need it and don’t even know it.

You can also use it to get into their office when the gargoyle guarding the entrance asks for the password.

goodfuckingcoffee:

packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip

unpacks 3 months after coming home

coolator:

therealhamster:

coolator:

So I went to get my stitches out and the doctor was like “look it has healed fine but hasn’t closed up yet” and I looked at the gaping cut on my hand and instantly fainted and came to like two seconds later and started vomiting into the trash can and the nurse was like “I’ll go get you a juice box” so yeah how was your morning?

but how was that juice box tho

Sweet and flavorful, full of aromatics.

spooktrek:

do you think when johnny depp agrees to be in a movie with a different director he goes home at night and tim burton is just there with his face pressed against the window and johnny has to close the curtains to avoid feeling guilty

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

casneedsdean:

accidentallyfuckedurdad:

I C O N I C

hoooooly fucking shit

safaribrowser:

get your game ondrive safe

safaribrowser:

get your game on
drive safe

mattyvogel:

real friends
adelaide, australia
website // twitter // facebook // instagram // tumblr

mattyvogel:

real friends

adelaide, australia

website // twitter // facebook // instagram // tumblr

Dude the gamecube sucked
Anonymous